Chapter Eleven: Stupid Mistakes.

Chapter Eleven
Stupid Mistakes

Me and 3abdallas friends were very close.. we went out every now and then kilina with 3abdalla.. they were all like my brothers! The closest friends to him were the closest ones to me which were 7amani and marzoug ..

Gabil la 3abdalla i6ale3 laisena kint amerhum ilfayer wen7oos wenroo7 sultan center nakil ice cream :P fa kint wayed merta7a weyahum maste7i minhum 3adi kina zayneen.. bas fee wa7ed min rabe3hum which is marzougo hes kind of a flirt. He was known in his school as the player he was good looking fa ga9 3ala kil ilbanat.. bas I still luved him as a brother because he made me laugh ;p and plus hes one of 3abdallas oldest friends since they were in middle school..

Fa kan ako times ne6la3 ilfayer me and marzougo and 7amani oo sometimes other guys I don’t know very well.. wekoon 3abdalla nayim fa ma eyey weyana.. sometimes my sisters come along kilmara ghair :p

7amani usually drives and their friend 3ali sits yama , wana wara oo marzougo oo its usually 3abdalla bas this time 3abdalla mo weyana..

kint ga3da oo ekhti kanat weyana.. wela ma ashoof ila marzoug 7a6 his arm on my shoulder.. gelt 6af maybe mo gha9da shay oo I was talking to 7amani ka2ana ma9ar shay 3adi.. we were racing one of their friends which was fun.. wela ma ashoof ila egareb marzougo! Oo eeda 3ala my leg! Okay now im like wtf! Fa I slowly go to the window side and he slowly comes! I was so pissed shlon ga3ed esawi chethi! Im his best friends girlfriend mayeste7i :S then he came closer to me and stuck his face to mine he tried to kiss me I pushed him away getla bas !

he finally moved away getlihum yala im tired oo radayt home.. the next morning gelt 7ag 3abdalla ina I missed him oo I wish he was there, I didn’t tell him exactly what happened bas 3a6ayta naqza ina marzougo went pass the friendship line. Fa 3abdalla started staying up to come with us.

(so this was all gabil la 3abdalla e6ale3 laisena)

but now haman marzoug 6ala3 his laisan but I don’t have one yet.

so marzoug was acting all better since that day he never crossed the line again..i though it was because he learned his lesson, bas 6ela3 it wasn’t. 6ela3 its because we never went out me and him without 3abood.

he called me one day he was bored so was I gali bemerni insolef about stuff getla yeah sure okay.

So he came to pick me up we started talking about his love life and how he has no one now blah blah blah, getla a36eek one week u wont be single ;p chan yeth7ak ;p he asked me how everything was with 3abdalla, getla more than great wala .. getla how lucky I was to find someone like him.. charming, honest, loving, kind, mashala kilshay feeh zayn! He laughed, then he started asking questions about what me and 3abdalla do together in private, getla its none of his business then he started getting flirty again! I don’t know why but I felt kind of scared.. he started getting closer! And holding my hand .. I started telling him bas bas bas morathi he gives up! He kissed me! And I told him to stop it! Gali 3abdalla mara7 yadri getla mo 3an getla bas ma abi ana! He kept pressuring me :S until I gave up :s he told me 3abdalla mara7 yadri latgoleenla shay getla ok.. wa9alni home I jumped on my bed and started cryiiiinng! How could I do this to 3abdalla!? Hes been nothing but honest with me! I love him too death!!! And I know he loves me too! I cant ignore this like it never happened! It did happen! I should have did something about it !


Noura: “3abdalla :(”

3abdalla: “shfeech 7ubi?”

Noura: “:’’’’’’’((((((”

3abdalla: “shfeeech lat5ar3eeeni chethi !”

Noura: “I did something really bad! And u may never speak to me again! :(”

3abdalla: “laaa shda3wa goleeli shfeech!”

Noura: “I kissed marzoug :S im sorrrrrrrrryyy ! I couldn’t keep this from u.. I would understand if u never wanna talk to me again bas u have to know its because I love ina I had to tell u! he pressured me wala 3abdalla ! I didn’t want to! Ur the one I want! Im sorryyy”

3abdalla: “aha ok”

Noura: “3abdalla wala sorry, lo ma7ebik chan khashayt minik! Bas magedart! U mean the world to me! I feel worse than u feel malyon mara”

3abdalla: “if I kissed ur friend how would u feel? Would u think I love u?”

Noura: “its not like that! U know marzoug ohwa wayed flirt oo eqa9ib ilwa7ed!”

3abdalla: “aah fa mat3arfeen itwakhreena? Oo etdezeena ? aw etdegeen 3alay? Lama banat min our school egoloonli 3abdalla ge6ni ilbayt aw deg 3alay oo ya36oni naqzat ildenya, ana agoluhum la! La2ana ana 3endi wa7da amoot feeha! Bas ehya shakilha matmoot feeni”

Noura: “u know that’s not true! Amooot feek oo akthar ba3ad wala 3abdalla sorry inas yaqle6oon sometimes I panicked I didn’t know what to do! Im sorry walaaa”

3abdalla: “im not enough for u, u had to go kiss my friend”

Noura: “:’( im sorrrryyy wala I wish u’d understand my place in this!”

3abdalla: “khalas akalmich later”

Noura: “I love u.”

As I layed on the bed thinking to myself what an idiot I was. I may never find a guy like this again! I ruined it! And if he does he will never trust me again! I don’t know what I’d do without him, hes everything to me and more!

The next morning 3abdalla went to school and saw marzoug there. Marzoug didn’t know that I told 3abdalla.. so 3abdalla went up to marzoug and told him ams shsawayt weya nouro? Marzoug goes nothing laysh.. 3abdalla goes etchatheb ba3ad! And pushed him on the wall screaming shsawayt ma3a nouro!!!!!? Marzoug il ghabi goes wala nothing!!!!! 3abdalla started shouting in the hallway until marzoug confessed. 3abdalla was very pissed makint abi a2atheeh wadezla any msj so I didn’t, I waited and waited and waited……

3abdalla: “I cant do this”

Noura: “:\ do what!!?”

3abdalla: “I cant live without u ;s ”

Noura: “:( mee tooo!”

3abdalla: “I thought to myself 3an kilshay! And I understand that people make mistakes and I know how marzoug can be with girls.. but I still think u should have done something bas ba9ik hal salfa mabi asma3 3an hal mawthoo3 again oo ma abeeha ten3ad”

Noura: “inshallllaaaaa… a7ebik tadri ?”

3abdalla: “9adgeeni ana akthar”

in life people make stupid decisions, they don’t think right, then later on they wish they can take it back and erase it forever.. I know u all may think im such a bitch right after reading this post bas 9adgooni I was stupid and young and makint adri how valuable this man was. And how theres no one in this world as half as good of a man as 3abdalla is.

Chapter Ten
Every Relationship has flaws

3abdalla: “Goood morning ;***”

(30 mins later)

3abdalla: “Yallaaa gooomay!”

(one hour later)

3abdalla: “Ma9arat nouma!”

(at 2 o clock il3a9er)

Noura: “GIMT!!!!”

3abdalla: “Wa2akheeran! Mita nimtay intay!”

Noura: “3al 4”

3abdalla: “OLA! Wana nayim min 1 ;p chan ga3adteeni asolef weyach shway”

Noura: “la ma7eb a2atheek u know that, I stay up watching movies oo sowalef msn ;p”

3abdalla: “weya mnu ?”

Noura: “madri kilman friends chethi cuzin ay a7ad ;p

3abdalla: “akeed shabab”

Noura: “ee fee shabab my friends shnu 3adi”

3abdalla: “ib msn wela phone? ”

Noura: “ some people msn some phone edegoon 3alay”

3abdalla: “sh3endihum at 3 in the morning idegoon 3alaych shyaboon ?”

Noura: “3abdalla madri bas chethi wa7ed yet7al6am 3an his relationship wel thani bas chethi fathi esolif kil wa7ed ghair”

3abdalla: “ok bas mala da3i at 3 in the morning khaydegoon wagt 3adi, mala da3i it7acheenhum ilfayer”

Noura: “I don’t understand whats the problem il7een”

3abdalla: “mako problem I just think that they should call earlier, ana a3aref 7arakat ilshabab shloon fa latredeen 3alaihum hal 7aza degay 3alaihum il9ib7”

Noura: “they r just my friend 3abdalla shfeek awal mara chethi it9eer!”

3abdalla: “kayfich khalas”

Noura: “shnu za3lan il7een?”

3abdalla: “la2”

Noura: “then?”

3abdalla: “nothing”

Noura: “I know u too well, etha betgooli mo za3lan ya3ni ga3ed etchatheb”

3abdalla: “MO ZA3LAN!”

Noura: “k”

My phone rings its my friend getlaha the whole story galatli give him time. Wana I hate waiting and wondering where he is , what hes doing, is he gonna ignore me like before !!? laaa I’d kill myself! Should I text him ? itgooli no just leave him for a while getlaha fine ok.

A couple hours later Im out with my friend re7na bowling wana 6ool ilmoda akhiz my phone abi yo9ali msj abi asma3 eghniyat yes2elooni etrin! Iffff!! Wela I go throw the bowling ball and come back to the table.

One New Message

3abdalla: “waynich?”

I smile yaaaay he sent meeee ! my friend teth7ak 3alay ;p

Noura: “bowling u ?”

3abdalla: “dewaniya, za3lana?”

Noura: “no inta madri shfeek 3alay : ( ”

3abdalla: “la bas qathayteeni shway, ya3ni madri laysh ana mo kafeelich itkalmeeni bilayl ? lazem etkalmeen a7ad 3ugbi ?”

Noura: “akeeeed kafeeeeeli! I love talking to u I wish I can talk to u all day all night! But u fall asleep ;p its not that I wanna talk to them its that they wanna talk to me, they call me cuz they r sad oo chethi about their problems, why do u compare urself to them? U think theres a comparison a9lan!? ”

3abdalla: “madri ya3ni intay it7ebeen if I talk to girls all night?”

Noura: “NO!”

3abdalla: “bilthab6, may9eer 7agich ee oo 7agi la! Its not that I even want to! I don’t! I want u oo only u! I wish u’d want me and only me too”

Noura: “I DOOOO! Ur everything to me mabi shay thani bas hathayl rab3i min zeman may9eer makalimhum .. ok I wont talk to them bilayl after u, only early times, asawi nafsi nayma etha dagaw ok?”

3abdalla: “ok :*”

Noura: “satisfied?”

3abdalla: “Yes ;p”

Noura: “good ;p”

3abdalla: “3a6eeni bosa”

Noura: “ ;*********************** I love u yal khayis ;******”

3abdalla: “ amoooooot feeeeeeechh ;***** and I missed u ib hal cham sa3a ;p”

Noura: “offfff meee tooo I was waiting and waiting and waiting! ;p”

3abdalla: “chan dazaitay msj ;p”

Noura: “I wanted to give u some time to think ;p”

3abdalla: “ur all I think about ;*”

Noura: “:$ a7ebik ”

3abdalla: “ ana akthar ;*** yala roo7ay foozay bil bowling 7agi”

Noura: “yala okay ;p ttyl baby ;*”

So im playing bowling smiling happy everything is fine I hate arguing with him or fighting it scares me I hope it doesn’t happen a lot with us my friend tells me its normal oo that every relationship chethi mo bas urs, getlaha true bas I always feel like hes gonna leave again like before itha za3alta.. galatli:

“3abdalla adores u, u adore him, u’ve been together for about 2 years now counting those months that he left, why would he stay with u this long? To play? He can play with girls for cham shahar wehed’hum, bas he insists on staying with u, he always misses u, always calls, and msjs, and he tried living life without u thinking maybe it would be okay, but it wasn’t so he came back, and since he knows how it feels to be without u, hes not going back there. So trust me hes not leaving u anytime soon.”

I was soo happy lamaiit’ha! Hearing something like that gives me wayed hope! It makes me love him even more! Love is a funny feeling ;p it comes pretty fast and takes forever to leave, so I hope it doesn’t have to leave I like feeling this way, I love 3abdalla! And I think he loves me too.

3abdalla: “radaytay?”

Noura: “Yep gabil shway”

3abdalla: “shetsaween?”

Noura: “mako ga3da weya omi”

3abdalla: “oh okay lama itkhal9een goleeli”

Noura: “k, by the way, I kinda like u ;p”

3abdalla: “looooool, I kinda like u too ;p 7mara a7ebich wala!”

Noura: “hahah me more! ;**** ”

3abdalla: “wala I’ve never felt this way for anyone before”

Noura: “mee too!!”

3abdalla: “the longest relationship I’ve ever had lasted 3 months!”

Noura: “ayshay! That’s the longest!?”

3abdalla:” eee ;p intay? ”

Noura: “ana 9 months ”

3abdalla: “ashwa ya3ni im ur longest ;p”

Noura: “yess counting our little break its been taqreeban 2 years with u ;p”

3abdalla: “olaa zayn ;p a7la 2 years ;**** ”

Noura: “yep, this is how it feels to be madly in love ;p even though we argue about taqreeban everything ;p”

3abdalla: “its okay its just an argument or a fight latkhafeen were okay ;)”

Noura: “good ;***** ”

Chapter Nine: Where is this going?

Chapter Nine
Where is this going?

There comes a time where u sit and think and wonder……

What am I doing? Is this real? Or just a game? Its been over a year and I don’t know if were going somewhere with this :S

3abdalla: “yala gooomaay ma9arat nouma!”

Noura: “I’m up 9arli sa3a taqreeban ;p”

3abdalla: “la wala? Mat3arfeen itgoleenli good morning!”

Noura: “good morning sunshine ;*”

3abdalla: “sh3ugba ;p Good morning beautiful ;**”

Noura: “ haha, ha shbetsawi today?”

3abdalla: “wala mako the usual, school, home, dewaniya.. u?”

Noura: “madri I never make plans whatever happens happens ;p”

3abdalla: “wayed estanast thak ilyoom weyach, wedi kilyoom agoom wentay yami”

Noura: “offff chan zaiiin!! It feels so right! U sleeping next to me”

3abdalla: “7ada 9a7! Chena 3aysheen jaw metzawjeen ;p”

Noura: “eeeee! Wanasa shakla :p inzayn yala im on the way to school I’ll talk to u later! Love u ;**”

3abdalla: “I love u more 7ayati ;*”

I sit in the car scared of asking him if our relationship is going somewhere , mali khilg we get into a huge argument oo nez3al 3ala ba3ath fa askit a7sanli!

While im sitting down in class so bored wanting the class to finish! I just sit on my desk thinking about him allllll day long! I was sitting in my 3arabi class just thinking about 3abood the way he smiles, or the way he touches my hand, the way he plays with my hair and kisses my forhead, I was sooo happy that I found him! And hes all mine! as I was day dreaming about the love of my life I feel my phone in my pocket vibrate! So I bend down and check my msj.

3abdalla: “a7ebich!”

I smile in my place while my friend tells me shfeeeech wareeeni ;p I tell her osh ba3dayn ;p

Noura: “:$ u made my day, a7ebik more!”

3abdalla: “I cant stop thinking about u”

Noura: “9adegni mo kithri, everytime I try to rakiz I see ur face ;p”

3abdalla: “Wala meee2! Abee ayeelich il7eeeeen!”

Noura: “lool I missss u abi alimik!!”

3abdalla: “abi alimich waboosich oo kilshaaaay”

the conversation goes on and on while it gets alittle inappropriate ;p as he says to me:

3abdalla: “laaa tekfayn mo hni! Mo wagta ana bil class ga3ed ;p”

Noura: “ hahahahaha abeek tebtelish ;p”

3abdalla: “zaga ;p a7ebich ;p yala brb mudares yay ;p”

I come home from school say goodnight for a while as we both head to noomat il3a9er ;p I wake up and my friend asks me to go see a movie with her getalaha ok. Re7na il fanar.

3abdalla: “il7ilwa waynha?”

Noura: “tawha 6al3a min filim bil fanar, wel 7ilo wayna? “

3abdalla: “ga3ed bel dwaniya efaker bil 7ilwa ;p”

Noura: “shefaker ?;p”

3abdalla: “efaker yalaaaa mita etrid ilbayt 3ashan ohwa erid wekalimha ;p”

Noura: “aaaah okaay golah bil 6reeej wehya walhana 3alaih wayed! Tabi tesma3 9oota ;p”

3abdalla: “yala awal mato9al khal etdezla msj il7een ohwa rad ilbayt yan6erha ;p”

Noura: “I love u ;p”

3abdalla: “I love u more”

after 35 mins I text him.

Noura: “honey, im home!”

Phone is ringing ( Yes2elooni layh a7ebik 7ub ma 7aba bashar, oo layh inti fee 7ayati shamsaha wenti ilgumar ) hathi kanat ranita lama edeg 3alay ;p

Noura: “alooo”

3abdalla: “akheeeeraaaaan tadreen shga3ed asawi ?”

Noura: “shnu?”

3abdalla: “ga3ed minsede7 3al frash age6 il tennis ball 3al 6oofa oo terja3li ;p omi yabatli eyaha itgooli its good for my anger ;p 3abalha I have anger management problems ;p”

Noura: “eee wala 9aja ;p ana weya omik heheh”

3abdalla: “shnu it7eseen ana maynoon yal khaysa ;p”

Noura: “la bas anger management problems shway 3al khafeeeeeeeeef ;p”

3abdalla: “la wala? ;p intaw shfeekum kilkum 3alay 7etan 3ameti oo a3mami egoloon chethi ;p”

Noura: “hahaha eee la2ana 9ij!”

3abdalla: “3ad tadreen shnu etha7ik ;p”

Noura: “shnu :p”

3abdalla: “3ameti isimha noura oo rayelha esma 3abdalla hahaha”

Noura: “hahaha alaaah wanasa!”

3abdalla: “ee fa lama ana weyach netzawaj lazem enyeeb 3 girls oo one boy mithilhum ;p wensameehum fay, sara, Khalid, oo rawan ;p”

Noura: “hahaha khalas okay ;p”

6ooool il moda im trying to hear what he just said! Lama ana weyach netzawaj!!!! 3ad ana shaga libtesama! I was sooo excited and happy that I didn’t even have to ask him that question! I was sooo happy that he even thought of that! And I love him even more !!!! so now im happy and satisfied knowing that our relationship is going somewhere ☺ Thank god i found this boy is what im thinking about right now.

Chapter Eight: Love Birds.

Chapter Eight
Love Birds

(At 11 in the morning on a weekend)

3abdalla: “Good morning ;**”

Noura: “Good morning sunshine ;**”

3abdalla: “Shbetsaween ilyoom ?”

Noura: “madri u?”

3abdalla: “madri chena bashoofich ?;p”

Noura: “Chena ee ;p”

3abdalla: “;*******”

Noura: “(K)”

The day goes by while me and my sisters decide that next weekend nabi na7jiz ib resort fa gelna kempinski. I called and made a reservation for us.

Noura: “3abdalla!”

3abdalla: “3yoona”

Noura: “etha 7ejazt kempinski tyey?”

3abdalla: “mnu bekoon mawjood?”

Noura: “bas ana oo khawati”

3abdalla: “eee okay”

Noura: “u’d come akeed?”

3abdalla: “yes ;**”

Noura: “ok cuz 7ejazt for next weekend etha mara7 tyey mabi aroo7”

3abdalla: “bayeey ;***”

Noura: “naaam 3endi hnak plzzzz ;p”

3abdalla: “a7awel wala”

Now im sitting in my room sooo happy thinking how fun is it gonna be!!! So I go tell my sisters tara 3abdalla beyey they all love him fa they didn’t mind.

(8 Oclock)

3abdalla: “im out”

Noura: “coming”

I go with him we cruise around everywhere and solef about next weekend. I beg him to sleep! He says wala I want to bas I’ll try my best ! this is a big step for me and him. He never slept over before. Bas I was really merta7a weyah, makint aste7i mina kilish! And he wasn’t shy of me either. We were very comfortable together.

3abdalla: “mageeetttliiich!

Noura: “shnu?”

3abdalla: “walhaaaaaaaan 3alaaaych wayed”

Noura: “hahaha, ana aktharrr, 3abali 3endik salfaaaa 9ijiya!”

He kisses my head. And holds my hand as he drops me home.

While im getting out of the car he pulls my arm I go shnu ? he says 3a6eeni bosa ;p I laugh and give him a kiss then leave ;p

I just stepped into the house while my phone buzzes.

1 New Message.

3abdalla: “a7ebiich ;********”

I smile in my place. :$

Then I reply “Mooo kithriiiiii ;*******”

The next days pass by soooo slowly!! Because all I can think of is the weekend! 2 days left!!!! I msj 3abdalla.

Noura: “can I tell u something”

3abdalla: “anything”

Noura: “since u might sleep over I want u to know ina when I said nam 3endi I meant nam 3endi as in lets sleep, not the other meaning.”

3abdalla: “I know shqa9dich wala, a9lan ana ma artha asawi hal shay weyach”

Noura: “goood I love u ;****”

3abdalla: “I love u more ;**”

(2 days later) I’m packing my clothes! So excited !

We drove with my sister and akheeeran we9alna! We checked in and everything and 3abdalla told me he’d be there at around 7:30 at night getla ok. So we did our thing had fun until the night came.

3abdalla: “shway woo9al”

Noura: “okay yaaaaay ;***”

3abdalla: “We9aalt!”

I went and got him. Ga3adna weya khawati oo solafna kilna. Until he told me nouro come and show me around ;p so I got up and showed him around, then ga3adna ib my room alone.

We were laying down on the bed watching tv when I asked him.

Noura: “Naaaam hni !”

3abdalla: “wala wedi bas bacher at 7 il9ib7 3endi sheqil weya obooy”

Noura: “okaay :S”

He kisses me and says sorry wala mara thanya I will promise ;***

Mushkilat 3abdalla he likes watching boring stuff wana kila a3a9ib agola e7e6 a show that I like to watch wehwa e7eb discovery chanel oo ashya2 maleeqa chethi ;p fa wana ga3da a6ale3 this stupid thing where a human races an animal he fell asleep wana fathya a6ale3 hal show chan ghayarta min zeman madam ohwa nayim ;p so I get up to find the remote and he wakes up.

3abdalla: “olaaa ana nimt?”

Noura: “ee shwaya bas”

3abdalla: “yalaaa khan agooom amshii”

he gets up and fixes his clothes and pulls me up from the bed so I give him his phone and keys while he’s hugging me and says za3lana?

Noura: “noo ;s”

3abdalla: “3ayal shfeech?”

I stand there not hugging him back ;p

3abdalla: “khalas anam hni ;p”

Noura: “e7liiiiiiif!”

3abdalla: “wala ;p” now I hug him back ;p

(a7eeeeeeeb hal walaaaad that’s whats on my mind!!!)

so we get back into bed laying down watching the stupid discovery chanel as he falls asleep. Im still awake so I get up wanting to go to the bathroom bas mabi a6ale3 9oot so aroo7 the other 7amam 3end khawati. Re7t wela kil khawati naymeen dashayt 7amamhum wela lama 6ela3t ma ashoof ila 3abdalla wagef 3end ilbab ;p kharaa3niiiiii!! Hes like half asleep cuz he doesn’t know what hes doing out the room in his boxers! So I pull him back and ask him why hes up he goes ga3ed adawrich ;p he kisses my head and goes back to sleep and I fall asleep as well ib hdoomi 7etan jooteyey ma fe9a5ta!

At 5 am ashoof 3abdalla ga3ed esheel my shoes ;p I start laughing cuz makint mestaw3eba ;p chan arid anam.

The morning comes and I see 3abdalla wearing his clothes so I get up, he tells me to go back to sleep I say no ;p im up now. Lamaita oo getla thanks for sleeping over he really made me happy. Wa9alta lay ilbab oo I went back to bed ;p

Chapter Seven: Behind us.

Chapter Seven
Behind us

A couple of months passed by like taqreeban 5 I didn’t msj him or call him since that night. For all I know he could be dead! So I was living my life hurt deep inside but acting as if im ok. I hate it when people think im sad then they keep asking and asking and it gets me even more sad so I just toughen up like my father taught me.

So mara kina 6al3een, ray7een kempinski jlai3a which is now known as “Sea Shell” stupid name ;p .. anyways kina ga3deen dakhil secound cup wela ma ashoof ila ekhti yayatli rakith!

Shahad: “NOUROO!”

Noura: “WHAT!”

Shahad: “3ABDALLA!”

Noura : “ 7IIIILLLFAAAAAY!”

Shahad: “walaa goo see! Hes sitting on that table ili matroosa guys, thahra 3alaina! ”

So im peeking at the table to see and I saw :S I felt this rush inside of me like im soo happppy to seeee himm and im mad as hell why he doesn’t miss me! I miss him like crazy!! So I just told them lets leave now. I was sooooo sad but I kept smiling acting like I was fine. We walked out the door and im glad he didn’t see me. We rushed to the car. Ga3deen dakhil ana oo ekhti na6reen il baji eyoon wela mashoof ila 3abdalla ga3ed yamshi chan eshoofni ga3da bil car bas babi maftoo7 chan egool off noura? Wehwa weya rfeeja chan a9ik ilbab wag3ad walif wayhi chena mashefta .. washoofa edesh his car and hes staring at me! I take a deep breath and act like nothing is happening. We left the parking lot and im holding my tears inside, leaning on the window tear drops falling on my sun glasses. Wishing I hadn’t come today :S

The morning came and I found a text msj.

3abdalla: “ahlayn”

omg!!!!! I don’t know what to say. Should I reply? Or should I ignore him like he did to me?

Noura: “hala”

I had to reply I missssss himm soooooo much I cant ignore! Its too hard!!!!!!!

3abdalla: “shloonich?”

Noura: “Zayna, u?”

3abdalla: “7amdila, walhan 3alaych”

abaaaaaaay a7ebaaaaaa !!!!!! I don’t wanna act too pushy so I have to talk 3adi.

Noura: “me 2 :D”

3abdalla: “ana akthar, abi ashoofich”

Noura: “Laysh ?”

3abdalla: “because I miss u”

Noura: “ohh okaay, meta? Oo wayn ?”

3abdalla: “kayfich, now?”

Noura: “ummm, why should i? ”

3abdalla: “I know ur mad but im sorry, u wont understand”

Noura: “make me understand”

3abdalla: “when I see u I will”

Noura: “ok pick me up at 7”

3abdalla: “I cant wait till 7 ;***”

Noura: “hehe me neither ;*”

So im at home waiting and thinking to myself is this really happening! Am I really gonna see him! I missss him! I wanna hug him! My phone rings, “ana bara”.

I go outside to the car my heart is beating so fast. I open the door and there he was smiling. The smile I would never forget. I sit inside he leans over to give me a hug and 2 kisses on the cheek.

Noura: “Haaaa yal ga6e3”

3abdalla: (smiling) “wala walhan 3alaych 7aaaaayl”

Noura: “good me 2”

3abdalla: “Shsawaitay today?”

Noura: “Mara7 etgooli sh9ayer?”

3abdalla: “intay narfazteeeni”

Noura: “Laysh?”

3abdalla: “Because shnu itgoleenli na5eth break? Il7een ana gayelich imte7anat oo chethi shako break”

Noura: “yeah so I can let u study”

3abdalla: “u can let me study without taking a break 3adi shnu cham yoom bas”

3abdalla: “may9eer everytime I get busy u wanna leave me, tara im gonna get busy wayed ya3ni bas mo ya3ni it’hedeeni or 3ala goltich na5eth break”

Noura: “I’m sorry I said that bas kint 7ayl metnarfiza ma3aref chethi ag3ad wan6er “

3abdalla: “te3alemay, ana magetlich shahar kamil, cham yoom bas”

Noura: “okay”

3abdalla: “za3lana?”

Noura: “la la shako”

3abdalla: “madri 3abali ;p”

Noura: “hehe hows ur grades?”

3abdalla: “il7amdila good except for biology ;p”

Noura: “waiiih yala shid 7aylik”

He drops me home I’m sitting in the kitchen counter eating corn flakes, he texts me.

3abdalla: “et7ebeeni? :$”

Noura: “More and more each day ;******”

3abdalla: “7abeeeebi ;*** ana akthar, so were ok ?”

Noura: “Yeah ;p we’re always ok :p”

3abdalla: “haha, shga3ed tsaween?”

Noura: “akil corn flakes, u?”

3abdalla: “reading, goleeli lama itkhal9een”

Noura: “okaaay ;*”

(15 minutes later)

Noura: “done!”

3abdalla: “adeg?”

I called him and we talked for about an hour and a half until he fell asleep. So we were back on and ready to start over. We put our past behind us and start fresh.

Chapter Six: Why Me?

Chapter Six: Why me?

Valentine’s day was coming up it had been one year for me and 3abdalla. It was the beginning of February I was happily in love with him and I thought he was too. Until we had a large argument I wondered to myself is he getting bored? So I texed him.

Noura: “shfeek hal ayam metghayer :s”

3abdalla: “La finals”

Noura: “ee okay bas 9arlik cham yom matdeg wela etdez msjat ila lama ana adez awal, mo min 3awaydik.”

3abdalla: “ee wala sorry shasawi mashqool 7ayl bil madrisa”

Noura: “ahaa, ee khalas ana abeek tenja7, hatha aham shay”

(he didn’t reply)

I was getting pissed ina laysh yes7ab 3alay ! fa lama esawi chethi ana ag3ad wafaker! Mafi shay ma 6ab ib bali. Is there another girl? Is he afraid of commitment? Am I nothing to him? Does he love me? I don’t know the answer to those questions! Mako ila as2ela!

The next day I texted him.

Noura: “Adri inta mashqool weya ur tests bas its making me think a lot”

3abdalla: “about?”

Noura: “us :s , r u getting bored of me?”

3abdalla: “Noura latfakreeen chethi! Wala getlich limte7anat im2athra feeni abi at5araj! Lo I got bored chan I told u. mo noo3i askit, lo abi shay chan gelta ib wayhich 3adi”

Noura: “okay, I don’t know cuz I’ve never seen u like this and u know its going to be a year in a couple of days fa gelt yemkin u don’t want us to be serious.”

3abdalla: “laa shako, it’s the tests that’s all”

a whole week went by and he’s still this way, never asking about me, very boring, ignoring my msjs, I hate this!!!!! I cant stand this!

Noura: “One msj a day wont hurt ya3ni!”

3abdalla: “sorry wala! mashqool”

Noura: “shda3wa mashqool 3abdalla ya3ni mategdar wenta raye7 school or wenta ga3ed bil dewaniya 6ool il yoom bas itdezli one msj! That’s not too much to ask for tara.”

3abdalla: “sorry, ana min il madresa seeda arid ilbayt adris wanam shway wagoom adris again , ag3ad bil dewaniya shway wamshi sorry”

Noura: “khalas ok, I think me and you should take a break”

3abdalla: “shloon?”

Noura: “I want u to study, but I cant be like this waiting for u to call or text me it gets me mad! Fa lama u miss me and want me then call”

3abdalla: “ya3ni matabeeni ?”

Noura: “imbala bas were on a break for a while”

3abdalla: “3ala ra7tich”

Noura: “bye”

3abdalla: “bye”

I burst into to tears lock myself in the bathroom laying on the floor thinking did I do the right thing? Or was I just selfish wanting him to talk to me bedal la he study’s! my sisters and cousin are knocking on my door asking me to open. I say noo! They know its something to do with 3abdalla so they start singing me a song so that I would laugh .. I open the door and laugh and go play with them in the 9ala.

The whole time im thinking where’s 3abdalla? Wat is he doing right now ? I miss him :S
Days pass by im still miserable! I want him to want me ;s but he didn’t call or msj me, I feel like he doesn’t even care! And that’s when I discovered he has no feelings.

2 weeks pass by without me texting him or him texting me im missing him to damn much! I don’t care Im gonna msj him!

Noura: “Hii”

(no response)

I waited for 2 hours.

Noura: “3abdalla shloon imte7anatik?”

(no response)

I burst into tears! Hes not gonna answer me now is he? So I start dialing his number. The phone is ringing, but still no response! I wait 5 minutes and call again, he turned off his phone!!! WTF! Now im pissed!!! I start calling over and over until it rang again and still no answer! I didn’t stop calling until he answered me.

3abdalla: “na3am?”

Noura: “laysh matrid 3alay shfeek ?”

3abdalla: “laysh daga malyoon mara?”

Noura: “cuz kint abi a7acheek”

3abdalla: “intay sheftay ina maradayt 3ala ur msjs wela ur phone calls laysh ham itdegeen!?”

Noura: “3abdalla shil salfa ! I thought we ended on good terms, makint adri inik bet3a9ib 3alay!”

3abdalla: “inzayn shtabeen il7een?”

Noura: “mint im7acheeni?”

3abdalla: “La"

I close the phone and cryyyyyyy!!! I couldn’t believe that this was my 3abdalla! The guy I talked to for one whole year every single day! The man I loved and I couldn’t live without!!! Why is he doing this ? what did I do? I thought of his education before I thought of myself! Wasn’t I being a good girl friend? Why is he treating me like this?!!! I don’t deserve this! Why is this actually happening! WHY ME!!!??? Those were my feelings as I layed on the bed, under the covers, covered in tears. Wishing to die. I felt pain like I never did before with anyone. This was the longest relationship I ever had. I truly madly deeply fell in love with this boy and I couldn’t imagine my life with him not in it.

Chapter Five: New Years Eve.

Chapter Five
New Years Eve

Me and 3abdalla were doing great, another 2 months passed by and we were still together. So over all 10 months. I was madly in love with him! I loved the way he talked, the way he made me laugh, the way he said my name, and even the way he likes to 6aferni ;p the cute thing about him was his voice ;p waaayed khashin! Lay darajat ina ba3th il marat 9a3eb nefhema! ;p ako salfa 9arat et’tha7ik 3an 9oota ;p marah ohwa kan 3endina, oo kina ga3deen ana weyah oo khawati oo his friend oo my friend. Fa kan ga3ed e7achi ekhti, ga3ed yes2alha 3an shay.. I think il movie ili re7nala ana weyaha, fa ga3ed yes2alha:

3abdalla: “7ilo?” (weya 9ooota il ghareeeb ;p)

Dalal: “Haa?” (3abalha ga3ed egoolaha aloo ;p)

3abdalla: “7iloooo?”

Dalal: “Haaaa?”

3abdalla: “7ilooooooo!!???” (3alah 9oota)

Dalal just turned around oo left ;p cuz mehya gadra tefhema ;p ana tha7akt the7ik ;p

The thing 3abdalla likes to do the most is to 6aferni! He loooovesss that!! Whenever he finds a way that he can, seeeeda he does it! Mathalan lama inkoon bil sayara ohwa yadri ana akhaf lama a7ad esoog feeni we6ig ra9eeef 9oobi, fa edoooos we6ig ra9eef bas ma ye93ad kila bas ne9! Ya3ni 9oobi ana foog il ra9eef oo 9ooba 3al share3, oo yamshi 6ool il moda chethi! Lay akher ilshare3! Enarfiiz! Fa ana a3a9ib wa7gera! Ba3dayn egooli ana asif ;p oo magdar az3al so ath7ak ;p or like JAD INARFIZ lama egooli ina ohwa e3aref kilshay! Ag3ad 3ala a39abi! Kila egool:

3abdalla: “ilnas kilhum wedhum e9eeroon mithli bas mara7 e9eroon”

Noura: “la wala? Layshh “

3abdalla: “la2ana ana a3aref kilshay ! mako wela shay ma3arfa!”

Noura: “way3 bas!”

3abdalla: “La 9ij! Ya3ni se2leeni ay shay!”

Noura: “mabi eskit!”

3abdala: “hahaha, laysh 3a9abtay ? me7tara ? ;p wedich itkoneen mithli 9a7 ? sorry bas mara7 e9eer hal shay “

Noura: “ana mara7 atkalam”

3abdalla: “za3altay ? ;p”

Noura: “nope”

3abdalla: “ana asif ;p”

mushkilllaaaaaa hal walad wayha! Ib dgeeega ekhaleeeni atnarfaz oo ib dgeeega ekhaleeni ath7ak ;p e3arefli 3adil!

*On New Years Eve I msjed him.

Noura: “Ha waynik ?”

3abdalla: “Shalay, u?”

Noura: “Home, Shetsawi?”

3abdalla: “Mako ga3ed u?”

Noura: “Same, shbetsawi ilyoom ?”

3abdalla: “Mako bag3ad bil shalay, laysh ? ”

Noura: “la bas as2al” (ana im pissed shway, kan wedi egooli yabi eshoofni ib new years ;p)

Then I msjed his friend Marzoog.

Noura: “Marzooooog!”

Marzoog: “Haalaa? Shfeech ? ”

Noura: “Metnarfiza kan wedi ina 3abdalla egooli yabi eshoofni ib new years bas magali wayyy3!”

Marzoog: “oo laysh intay matgoleenla? Mo lazem ohwa kila egool.”

Noura: “laa ma7eb mafrooth ohwa e3aref hal shay tharoori ya3ni.”

Marzoog: “shda3wa tharoori? Laysh bas 3ashan new years?”

Noura: “EEE! New years kiss !”

Marzoog: “ aaahh ! heeheheh”

(An Hour later)

3abdalla: “Bashoofich ilyoom”

Noura: “lool, marzoogoo galik :p”

3abdalla: “Laysh intay magelteeli?”

Noura: “la2ana mafrooth it3aref hal shay madrii”

3abdalla: “laa ma3aref ana hal suwalef, intay goleeli ay shay tabeena, mo tasketeen”

Noura: “ok, I want u to be my new years kiss :$ ;p”

3abdalla: “Lol, okay ya3ni ilsa3a cham ayeelich ? oo wayn ? ”

Noura: “ana oo Shahood ekhti benroo7 hilton ta3ali minak, egreeb min ilshalay shway”

3abdalla: “khalas ok ya3ni ayeelich before 12?”

Noura: “ee, bas lazem at 12 itkoon weyay ;p”

3abdalla: “ok ayeelich 11:30”

Noura: “k ;*”

3abdalla: “oo mafrooth inboos lama ga3ed e3edoon or shnu?”

Noura: “la, lama egooloon 10, 9, 8.. lama yo9al 3end 1! We9eer 12 oclock inboos ;p”

3abdalla: “aaah okay! ;*** yala ashoofich tonight”

(11:30 PM) Me and shahood are in starbucks ga3deen, im waiting for 3abdalla hes on the way.

He arrives, and I go sit with him in his car bil parking lot. He came with marzoog and marzoog 6ela3 yetmasha. Fa ga3deen ensolif 3adi, khali9aw ilsuwalef and were just sitting there ;p so tempted to kiss! im waiting for the clock to be 12 damn it! The radio was on 99.7 im waiting for he countdown.. 9ara7 11:59!! Wela 3abdalla just kisses me before the countdown ;p atleast lama 9arat 12 we were still kissing ;p I laughed cuz he couldn’t wait one minute!! ;p chan egooli happy new yeaaar ;p wela inshoof nas ajanib emeroon 9oobna kilman labis those party hats weya e3yalhum oo chethi, so 3abdalla fach dereeshta wegoluhum happy newwwww yeaaar oo ga3ed yeth7ak ;p wegooluhum why r u leaving so early? Its new yearrs!! Oo ga3ed esolif weyahum hal khibil ;p chan shahood tyey ana nezalt min il car chan yanzil weyay wesalim 3ala shahood wegoolaha happy new year. I hugged him and kissed him goodbye and headed home.

That was the one and only new year that I loved that much. Not knowing what was going to happen later ;s.