Chapter Six: Why Me?

Chapter Six: Why me?

Valentine’s day was coming up it had been one year for me and 3abdalla. It was the beginning of February I was happily in love with him and I thought he was too. Until we had a large argument I wondered to myself is he getting bored? So I texed him.

Noura: “shfeek hal ayam metghayer :s”

3abdalla: “La finals”

Noura: “ee okay bas 9arlik cham yom matdeg wela etdez msjat ila lama ana adez awal, mo min 3awaydik.”

3abdalla: “ee wala sorry shasawi mashqool 7ayl bil madrisa”

Noura: “ahaa, ee khalas ana abeek tenja7, hatha aham shay”

(he didn’t reply)

I was getting pissed ina laysh yes7ab 3alay ! fa lama esawi chethi ana ag3ad wafaker! Mafi shay ma 6ab ib bali. Is there another girl? Is he afraid of commitment? Am I nothing to him? Does he love me? I don’t know the answer to those questions! Mako ila as2ela!

The next day I texted him.

Noura: “Adri inta mashqool weya ur tests bas its making me think a lot”

3abdalla: “about?”

Noura: “us :s , r u getting bored of me?”

3abdalla: “Noura latfakreeen chethi! Wala getlich limte7anat im2athra feeni abi at5araj! Lo I got bored chan I told u. mo noo3i askit, lo abi shay chan gelta ib wayhich 3adi”

Noura: “okay, I don’t know cuz I’ve never seen u like this and u know its going to be a year in a couple of days fa gelt yemkin u don’t want us to be serious.”

3abdalla: “laa shako, it’s the tests that’s all”

a whole week went by and he’s still this way, never asking about me, very boring, ignoring my msjs, I hate this!!!!! I cant stand this!

Noura: “One msj a day wont hurt ya3ni!”

3abdalla: “sorry wala! mashqool”

Noura: “shda3wa mashqool 3abdalla ya3ni mategdar wenta raye7 school or wenta ga3ed bil dewaniya 6ool il yoom bas itdezli one msj! That’s not too much to ask for tara.”

3abdalla: “sorry, ana min il madresa seeda arid ilbayt adris wanam shway wagoom adris again , ag3ad bil dewaniya shway wamshi sorry”

Noura: “khalas ok, I think me and you should take a break”

3abdalla: “shloon?”

Noura: “I want u to study, but I cant be like this waiting for u to call or text me it gets me mad! Fa lama u miss me and want me then call”

3abdalla: “ya3ni matabeeni ?”

Noura: “imbala bas were on a break for a while”

3abdalla: “3ala ra7tich”

Noura: “bye”

3abdalla: “bye”

I burst into to tears lock myself in the bathroom laying on the floor thinking did I do the right thing? Or was I just selfish wanting him to talk to me bedal la he study’s! my sisters and cousin are knocking on my door asking me to open. I say noo! They know its something to do with 3abdalla so they start singing me a song so that I would laugh .. I open the door and laugh and go play with them in the 9ala.

The whole time im thinking where’s 3abdalla? Wat is he doing right now ? I miss him :S
Days pass by im still miserable! I want him to want me ;s but he didn’t call or msj me, I feel like he doesn’t even care! And that’s when I discovered he has no feelings.

2 weeks pass by without me texting him or him texting me im missing him to damn much! I don’t care Im gonna msj him!

Noura: “Hii”

(no response)

I waited for 2 hours.

Noura: “3abdalla shloon imte7anatik?”

(no response)

I burst into tears! Hes not gonna answer me now is he? So I start dialing his number. The phone is ringing, but still no response! I wait 5 minutes and call again, he turned off his phone!!! WTF! Now im pissed!!! I start calling over and over until it rang again and still no answer! I didn’t stop calling until he answered me.

3abdalla: “na3am?”

Noura: “laysh matrid 3alay shfeek ?”

3abdalla: “laysh daga malyoon mara?”

Noura: “cuz kint abi a7acheek”

3abdalla: “intay sheftay ina maradayt 3ala ur msjs wela ur phone calls laysh ham itdegeen!?”

Noura: “3abdalla shil salfa ! I thought we ended on good terms, makint adri inik bet3a9ib 3alay!”

3abdalla: “inzayn shtabeen il7een?”

Noura: “mint im7acheeni?”

3abdalla: “La"

I close the phone and cryyyyyyy!!! I couldn’t believe that this was my 3abdalla! The guy I talked to for one whole year every single day! The man I loved and I couldn’t live without!!! Why is he doing this ? what did I do? I thought of his education before I thought of myself! Wasn’t I being a good girl friend? Why is he treating me like this?!!! I don’t deserve this! Why is this actually happening! WHY ME!!!??? Those were my feelings as I layed on the bed, under the covers, covered in tears. Wishing to die. I felt pain like I never did before with anyone. This was the longest relationship I ever had. I truly madly deeply fell in love with this boy and I couldn’t imagine my life with him not in it.